There are scores of women scarred by unfaithfulness. Some scars are visible in the expression of negative emotions while others are invisible in the inability to open the heart to another relationship. However, the one common thread I hear in my discussions is that we women tend to carry the responsibility for our mate’s unfaithfulness.
We blame our appearance, our professional careers or lack of one, the way we relate to him, and the attention we give our children. We may not explicitly embrace this as the reason, but we implicitly accept it when we allow him to use it as an excuse. Some of us even compare/compete with the other woman to no avail. Let us all recall Clara Harris who is a brilliant woman that ruined her life by carrying the responsibility of her husband’s unfaithfulness. She morphed to become the woman she thought her husband wanted and he was still unfaithful. If only she had understood that his unfaithfulness wasn’t about her……..it was about him.
So here is an original thought that I want each of you to consider.
Faithfulness is a choice.
It is a choice driven by inner emotions instead of external factors. Before you commit to exclusivity in a relationship, you need to have an explicit discussion with your prospective mate about faithfulness. Don’t let the reciting of marriage vows be the first time that you openly discuss it. You also need to have a defined action in the case that your mate is unfaithful so that you will not suffer the agonies of vacillation.
Do you believe faithfulness is a choice?