To Have a Friend You Need to Be a Friend

It is easy for me to meet and bond with others whether they are male or female.   I have close friends in both sexes but my closest friendships are with other women.    I learned about female bonding by watching the women in my family during my youth.   They were all very close and there were lots of family gatherings.    I was always eavesdropping on conversations by lurking close to whatever room they were in – usually the kitchen.   In some of the old family photos where the women are together you can find me – the only child in the picture – peeking around the door or over someone’s shoulder while they are sitting.  I learned a lot listening to them sharing their lives with and helping one another.  I also learned how they handled discord and maintained their relationships.

As I moved through the phases of womanhood, I learned there are women who don’t feel comfortable around other women.   Usually, these women are okay with a one-on-one friendship but just don’t do well in a group.   As a younger woman, I would try to encourage and include women I knew like this into my group of friends but experience finally taught me to “let it be” because it didn’t always work.   Sometimes it made the outing uncomfortable and unbearable with the “loner” woman acting a little crazy!   I finally accepted that it is simply a difference in personalities and everyone has a right to be themselves.   I just don’t have to have the negative ones in my inner circle.

I have discovered that in order to have a good lasting friendship and to make great new friendships you should be:

Selfless

Caring

Kind

Honest

Encouraging

Accepting

Positive

Open-Minded

Versatile

Funny

Whole and Fair

In self-control

A Good Listener

A Good Communicator

These are qualities that I believe will sustain long-lasting friendships if both parties strive to incorporate them in their daily lives.    The burden of uplifting and maintaining a friendship should never fall on one person.

Question(s):

How healthy are your friendships?

What do you think of the friendship qualities I listed?

Do you have any to add?    If so, please share.