GOSSIP FROM THE GIRLFRIEND GATHERINGS

Learning from YOU to empower ME !

Loving YOURSELF in February 2022 (The Month for Lovers)

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Self-Care, Self-Love

Earlier this month, we celebrated Valentine’s Day, and it was all about our relational “love” connections. I hope you had your romantic dinner with your “Boo” and topped it off with wine and a fabulous chocolate dessert.

This week, I want to talk about another necessary type of love… self-love.   This is the awareness of your well-being and happiness that is necessary before we can adequately love another.

One of the ways that we express love for ourselves is with self-care.

For some reason, a lot of women put themselves last. They care for others and make them a priority. Then they find little or no time to care for themselves.

We all aspire to be “superwomen” doing it all for everyone.  The reality is we end up being “women who do too much” and in need of self-care.

Regardless of age, your current stage in life, you must practice self-care.

Usually, everyone focuses on self-care’s physical (eating management + exercise) aspect.   But the realm of self-care should also include the emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of our lives.

Self-care is often a path not taught to us while growing up. It is a path that we find for ourselves out of necessity.

The first step on that path is to accept that we are responsible for our well-being.

How do you know that you are neglecting your well-being and need self-care?

Here are a few signs:

  • You are tired all the time.
  • You are always irritable.  Everyone and everything wreak havoc on your nerves.
  • A good night’s sleep is a fantasy.  You are tossing and turning every night.
  • You are worried and anxious about minimal issues.
  • You are neglecting your relational life with family and friends.
  • You have abandoned your hobbies and can’t remember the last time you had fun.
  • You have negative conversations with yourself about yourself.  You can’t get rid of that critical voice in your head.
  • You have feelings of insecurity about your career, personal life, and relational life.
  • You brood about perceived failures in your life unnecessarily.

If you have even one of these signs, I think it is time to initiate overdue self-care.  You can start slow with an occasional remedy, but the goal should be to make it a periodic routine and incorporate it into your schedule.   Here are a few suggestions to get you started on de-stressing:

  • Get as much sunshine you can.  Take a walk, ride a bike, or just sit outside on the patio/porch
  • Visit a God-made natural site…the ocean or river, the forest, a field of flowers, the mountains
  • Knock off one of those sites to visit from your bucket list
  • Incorporate daily prayer in your life
  • Try deep meditation
  • Relax in a luxurious bubble bath.
  • Take an old-fashioned afternoon nap
  • Get a massage or do a self-massage
  • Treat yourself to your favorite dessert
  • Make a playlist of your favorite songs
  • Start a daily gratitude journal
  • Find a good friend and confidante
  • Do something creative…paint, sew, write, sing, etc.
  • Learn how to say “NO” and set boundaries
  • Limit your time on your computer devices and social media
  • Declutter your living space
  • Create a TO-DO list and keep it simple
  • Set small “bite-sized” goals

These are just a few things you can do to jumpstart your self-care.  If you relaxed and brainstormed, I’m sure you could define a more personal list of what resonates with you.  Be sure to mix it up and not get stuck doing one or two activities because that will get boring soon.  Variety truly is the spice of life.

Remember, self-care is self-love, and when you radiate from its benefits, you will attract the relational love that we also celebrate this month.

QUESTION:  Do you practice self-care?   If so, please share some of the ways you do so.

New Year, New You…Be Intentional

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Happy New Year 2022

I wonder how many of you are in my boat.  

I thought I would have created a “new” me last year, but so much stuff got in the way.

I’m not talking about a physical makeover.

I’m talking about a mental takeover.

Even though we thought it would be different, in 2021, we were all still dealing with the COVID pandemic and its variations.

All I did was wait and hope it would all end.

 I wanted everything to go back to normal. 

I spent 2021 just focusing on maintaining my sanity while missing my active social life, visiting with family and friends, and eating out at my favorite restaurants. 

Now, we’re in 2022.    Will it be more of the same?  

I’ve accepted that there’s no going back to the “2019” normal. 

I’ve accepted I need to adapt to the “new” 2022 normal. 

I’ve accepted our new reality is evolving as we live it.

The bottom line is…there’s a different paradigm living with a pandemic.

I have my moments where I want to do a “full-face” makeup, put on my “after 5” glamour, and go to a ballet, a Broadway show, or an opera.

I have my moments where I want to call my SisterGirlfriends and head south to the Galveston seawall to hang out for Sunday Brunch at the Hotel Galvez.

I have my moments where I want to head off to one of my writing retreats with a group of my creative writing pals.

And, I have too many moments where I want to jump on a cruise ship or a plane to jet off to some exotic international destination.

But I can’t.  Because mentally, I’m not ready.

And, to get ready, to evolve into a new “me,” I need to be intentional.

I need to regroup my internal emotions since I can’t control society’s external factors.

I can only be intentional in how I cope with those external factors.

The focus needs to be on spiritual growth and relational growth because, at my phase in life, these are the things most important to help me.

So, let’s not wait and hope in 2022.

Let’s be intentional in pushing forward and adapting to our new, inevitable reality.

QUESTION: How will you be intentional in 2022?

One Woman Embracing Evolution

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Last month, I had a birthday and reached a milestone age.

It’s an age that causes one to reflect upon it in the months before you reach it, and then you are awed when you wake up on that day to claim it.

It’s a Blessing to reach this age in good health (which means I can reverse the few issues I have) and with a sound mind (which means I can still laugh at myself).

Since that morning, I’ve thought about my life journey to this point.

I counted how many women I’ve been and how many more I will be before I transcend from this life.

I laughed out loud alone in my home at some of my antics.

I sat in the silence of my home and wept at some memories.

I reminisced about the beautiful places I’ve visited and their impact on my worldview.

I pondered the choices I made, the resulting consequences, and what I would redo differently.

I gave thanks to God for the people I’ve loved and the ones who have loved me.

Then I celebrated and embraced this new evolutionary stage that I’ve reached through Grace.

I think I’ve made it to the point where I can share some wisdom from my journey with others to help them navigate this maze called LIFE.

After all, this is not a dress rehearsal. We have one chance to live LIFE to the fullest.

Since 2017, everyday life has interrupted my blogging life, but now I’m ready to share my insight, ponderings, and daydreams again.

So, please stay tuned for future posts where I’ll share what I’ve learned just by EVOLVING.

July 4th 2021

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4th of July

It’s a few minutes past midnight on the 245th birthday of my country.

I’m watching AMERICA THE STORY OF US on Amazon Prime.

I’m trying to bolster my spirit on a day that always made me feel proud to be an American.

However, this year feels SO different.

The January 6th Insurrection and the ongoing attack on voting rights in many states have me disheartened.

America’s original sin – racial bias – still threatens our democracy.

We have put a man on the moon, but we cannot overcome racial hatred in our country. 

WE, THE PEOPLE, cannot form a more perfect union until we are inclusive of the history and contributions of ALL Americans.

God help us.

HIS continual blessings despite our faults are my prayer for the love of country.

Juneteenth 2021 – A New Federal Holiday

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Juneteenth 2021

We have a new Federal Holiday – June 19th – Juneteenth.

Today marks the 156th anniversary of the date when Union Army Major General Gordon Granger stood in Galveston, Texas, and announced to the enslaved Americans in Texas they were free.

Our current Democratic President, Joseph Biden, and Vice President, Kamala Harris, have declared this day a federal holiday.

Despite the debilitating efforts of some state legislatures to disenfranchise African Americans from voting and the need to change policing so that African Americans are no longer an endangered species in the judicial system, I am happy with this designation.

Why?

Because I have unknown African ancestors who were victims of human trafficking and these heroes should be commemorated.  It was a miracle they endured and survived the Middle Passage journey to land in the Americas.

Because I have unknown and known ancestors who were enslaved Americans that contributed to the success of the American experiment, and their “forced FREE” labor was the backbone of America’s economy.  This country is still benefitting from those efforts. 

Because this happiness is for Arkansas White (Maw), my maternal great-great-grandmother who was an enslaved American, 12 years old when emancipated, and separated from her family at that time.   We have yet to find what happened to them and their descendants.

Because this joy is for Annie White Hargrove Fears (MaDear), my grandmother who had terrible memories of celebrating Juneteenth when she was a young girl and, now, I can commemorate it in peace for her.

When I was a child, she told me the African American community would celebrate Juneteenth on the church grounds with a picnic.   However, domestic terrorists would constantly disrupt their celebration with their racist anger and destruction.  Yet, the African American community would still gather the following year.

Because this joy is for all, who went before me with their enduring strength, faith, and hope for their children even when they lived in desperate times, and I commit never to forget them.

Because this is for all who come after me, and I must endeavor to educate about their proud heritage.

I am happy and proud that OUR country has taken another step towards redemption, recognizing this critical date to African Americans.

  Now, let’s continue with securing voting rights and equality for the future generations of ALL Americans.