GOSSIP FROM THE GIRLFRIEND GATHERINGS

Learning from YOU to empower ME !

“What Love Ain’t” – Relational Pitfalls

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Remember that song from the movie Urban Cowboy with a young, sexy, John Travolta?  It was called “Looking for Love” sung by Johnny Lee.   I remember one of the verses said, “Looking for love in all the wrong places” which really was an eye opener for some.   It inspired some of us to stop hanging out in the nightclubs looking for Mr. Goodbar and refining our search for Mr. Right in a more meaningful manner.

Well, I want to talk about another pitfall to relationships.  If it were a song, it would be called “Looking for Love with all the Wrong Behaviors.”

Before we can begin to relate to and with another person, some of us need to do some work.  Some of us need to look internally at what is happening which makes us act out externally in relationships.   So, since this is the month for L-O-V-E, I want to spend some time sharing about “what love ain’t” and how we are sometimes the catalyst that creates our relational pitfalls.

So, pick your favorite chocolate from the box, grab a glass of scrumptious bubbly and drop by for an informative visit throughout the month.

Happy New Year 2018

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May you all be prosperous in the new year!

I am wishing you all good health, great wealth, and an exciting life journey in 2018.

 

Merry Christmas – ‘Tis the Season for Good Cheer!

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Let us all strive to share those intangible gifts this season.   Love, hope, kindness, patience, and understanding is what is needed most in our society.

May you all have a blessed and beautiful Christmas celebration with your loved ones!

Don’t forget the REASON for the season!

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Be GRATEFUL for the small things in life because they are really what’s important!

May all of you have a blessed day with your families and loved ones.

Slow Your “Roll”

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Recently, I went out to lunch with a friend and coworker.   When I got into her car, there were four wigs in it.  One on her head and three lying in a pile on the front passenger seat.  My friend quickly grabbed the wigs and tossed them on the backseat.   I got in the car and looked at her.  I guess my look said it all because before I could speak my thoughts, she told me, “Girl, I know.”  It was clear it was time for some self-evaluation.

I asked her what the heck was going on in her life that she was riding around with wigs in the front seat of her car.   She told me how busy her life had been in recent months and how she would choose a hairdo to put on while driving to the office.   All I could say was “Girl, slow your roll.”

Now, for those who may not understand that statement, “roll” or “rolling” is an informal description (slang) that describes the movement of a person through their daily tasks, chores, etc.  My SisterGirlfriends and I use this term all of the time.   When we say to each other “slow your roll”, it is sufficient to gently admonish one another to stop and take care of ourselves.

There are times when life gets busy, and then there are times when a person is flat out overwhelmed.

   Here are some indicators that you’ve been zombified:

  1. You are dressing in your car while driving to your destination.
  2. You are warned and choose to skip car maintenance tasks until your vehicle stops working.
  3. You are eating out daily because you don’t have time to compile a grocery list and shop for food to stock your kitchen.
  4. You are losing your purse, keys, glasses, wallet…something…every other day.
  5. You are not managing your communication channels (voicemail box is full, don’t check email for weeks, missed calls).
  6. You arrive home and realize you should be at another destination.
  7. You are overly involved in managing other “grown folks” business instead of your own.
  8. You schedule vacation, but you take your laptop so you can log in to work/office.

Now, you may have to plan a few days of downtime just to regroup so you can think about slowing down but it will be worth it.   Once you get rested up, here are some tips to kick off and get you on the right track.

Tips for “Slowing Your Roll”

  1. Get organized. Make use of your smartphone with the apps to help you with making notes, tracking tasks, and keeping schedules/calendars.
  2. Plan your errand route, so you are not driving all over the city. If you have to go to the brick and mortar locations for shopping, banking, laundry cleaners, etc., use the locations close to your office so you can manage it on a lunch break or en route to/from the office.
  3. Spread errands out during the week and strive to keep weekends free for downtime or pleasurable activities.
  4. Acknowledge you can’t do everything yourself and delegate or pay for housework/lawn care.
  5. When you schedule downtime, stick with it. Plan something fun to do or just relax at a spa.  You need to place yourself first in your schedule because no one else will.
  6. Take a periodic vacation at least for one week a year. Stepping away from your daily life and doing something entirely different is very refreshing.
  7. Learn to say NO to anything that will drain your time and personal energy. Engage in the lives of others appropriately but not to your detriment.

The most important fact to remember is that TIME is the most valuable and irreplaceable resource…not money.   Spend some money to slow your roll and free up your life, so you will have TIME to enjoy it.