GOSSIP FROM THE GIRLFRIEND GATHERINGS

Learning from YOU to empower ME !

On Being Resolute

By

A New Day Dawning

Sometimes life throws you a curveball that will reveal your strengths and weaknesses to you. 

Since 2017, I’ve been hit by some curveballs that have changed the trajectory of the remainder of my life. These changes are not bad or negative, but they are unexpected ones. I’m having to “roll with the punches” and deal with the emotions that come with the realization that I am not in control.

So, what have I learned about me?

Some of my lessons were revealed through comments from my dear SisterGirlfriends during the travails of the last three years.  

 One told me she believed I was a “super-woman.”  

Another one told me that she found me “unbreakable.” 

The one comment that humbled me was when my friend, who is battling a severe health issue, told me she found her strength by watching me.  

When I combine their comments and reflect on the journey of my entire life, there is one word that sums it up.  

 I am resolute.

The definition for resolute is BOLD, STEADY, RESOLVED. 

The synonyms for resolute are bent (on or upon), bound, decisive, determined, do-or-die, firm, hell-bent (on or upon), intent, out, purposeful, resolved, set, single-minded.

If these words define my character, then this “resoluteness” was forged through pain, grief, joy, tears, laughter, prayers, and all that illustrate the human experience.

It was formed on establishing a goal and “keeping my eyes on the prize” until I got there when things got foggy.  

It was founded on the belief that if I fail, then I must get back up and move forward.

It was reinforced through faith that God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit would be with me through whatever journey was before me.

Today, some friends are going through some pain and sadness.   

It is hard in our society and our personal lives right now.  

Some of us have experienced life-altering changes. 

Embrace each new day.

You will survive these troubling times.

Be resolute.

Over Here in Overwhelm

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There is an old saying that goes something like “What won’t kill you will make you strong.”  It is true.    However, what they don’t tell you is you have to go to a place and through a process to get to that strength.   It AIN’T easy.   You can’t skip over it.   You will need an arsenal of spiritual and emotional tools to help you because it will bring you to your knees.   I call this place OVERWHELM.

Overwhelm is a place I rediscovered when the flood waters of Hurricane Harvey breached my home on 8/28/17 and rose to 6-feet destroying everything I owned.    Overwhelm is a place I was forced to settle into when my dearly loved cousin-sistergirlfriend in Dallas died suddenly on 12/11/18, and I became the executor of her estate.   Overwhelm is the place that challenges me to determine should I give in to despair or lace up for the good fight to overcome these temporary obstacles.

I’ve been told, “Girl, you are holding up great.”   I’ve been told, “Girl, I don’t know how you are dealing with all of this.”    I can tell you that out of survival necessity I’ve formulated a coping strategy.  This strategy consists of two actions – recognition and formulation.   I recognize when I am struggling, and I formulate an immediate action plan to work through it.

Here are some symptoms one can experience in the land of Overwhelm:

  • Anxiety
  • Sleeplessness
  • Emotional eating
  • Lack of appetite
  • Lack of Focus
  • Intolerance for others
  • Numbness in spirit and emotions
  • Physical Response
    • Hair Loss
    • Rashes / Hives
    • Dehydration
    • Nausea

Some of these symptoms may be temporary, but some can come and remain with you.   The most important thing you can do is give attention to yourself and what you are feeling.

Here are my recommendations to combat these symptoms:

  • Exercise – try to move daily, a 30-minute walk is all you need if you don’t exercise regularly.
  • Keep a routine – even if partially because you will have additional tasks for a short period.
  • Express your feelings – talk to your “sounding boards” (friends, family, etc.) but no whining and self-pity parties.
  • Compartmentalize tasks so you can move forward. It is better to move forward even if it is at a slower pace.    Try to plan only 1-2 weeks out.
  • Make lists and don’t feel guilty about it. Utilize simple tools – like the NOTES application on your smartphone – so you don’t add to your feelings of overwhelm by trying to learn a new app.
  • Prepare to do some emotional eating because some of us will do it. Find healthy snacks and food to “crunch” out the anger and “smooth” the sadness.
  • Know your limits and express them. Just say “NO” and, if necessary, “H*LL, NO!”
  • Take a break / a change of scenery to step away from the overwhelming tasks for a bit. It will help you rejuvenate and regroup so you can continue onward.

I’ve chosen the good fight.   I’ve been down on my knees praying.   There is no timetable, and I’ve accepted I’m going to be here for a bit.   I’ve decided to progress onward to acquire that strength on the other side because I have faith it is there waiting for me.