I’m a native Texan – several generations deep. This means I am a Southern Belle with Cowgirl spunk. There are certain things that are innate in the native Texan and one of them is chivalry. The women expect it and the men know they better deliver it. After all, chivalry is a part of home training.
Now, I know this is the 21st century and women can do a lot of things for themselves. However, in Texas, just because we can doesn’t mean we have to – especially when a man is near. We still expect for our doors to be opened for us, to be helped with heavy packages, to not have our ears burned with profane language in our earshot, and to be asked if our needs are being met when we are in the company of a man.
So, imagine my dismay on the day that I thought chivalry had died and gone to hell!
It happened like this…………….
It was a beautiful Saturday morning and I was out early with my biking buddies riding the trails at Deussen Park. My girlfriends decided to ride over to the adjacent park -Eisenhower – to ride on hills and I remained at Deussen to ride the trails near Lake Houston. As I completed the first rotation on the route and started heading east, the sun had risen and was shining directly in my eyes. I stopped abruptly to put my sunglasses on and when I started up again my bike chain slipped off.
At that moment, I thought about that bike maintenance class I had put off for several weeks. I quickly resigned myself to the fact my ride was over since I did not know how to repair the bike. I decided to push my bike the 1 1/4 miles back to our starting point at the home of my girlfriend. I texted my girlfriends to let them know of my predicament and started my trek.
As I pushed my bike out of the park entrance onto the pedestrian lane of the main road, I noticed a man riding towards me and the park entrance on his bike. I slowed down as he got closer and to my surprise he rode right by me nodding his head at me as he passed. I turned around and watched his back as he rode off. All sorts of names entered my thoughts and none of them were very nice. I surmised he was definitely not a Texan and probably had thrown out his home training because there was not one iota of chivalry in his demeanor.
So, I hung my head and trudged on as the sun beamed down on me. Soon, I heard a couple of drawling voices calling, “M’am, M’am!” I turned around and two young men were riding toward me. They rode up behind me and asked, “Are you having a problem, M’am?” with that dear familiar Texas twang. I told them what happened to my bike. As one gently admonished me about riding alone and not being able to maintain my bike, the other one quickly repaired it. They stayed with me as I test rode it to be sure I was completely operational and satisfied. I thanked my “cowboys” and rode back to the park to rejoin my girlfriends.
I told my girlfriends what happened and they were appalled. Since none of us know how to maintain our bikes we have marked the date of the next maintenance class on our calendars so we can attend together. However, this incident has created some sadness within me. Now, I will no longer assume that every man I encounter in my home state is chivalrous. I wonder if I am watching the slow dissolution of something special in Southern and Texas culture. I hope not.
QUESTION(s)
What do you think about chivalry?
Do you think it is a dying virtue?
Do you appreciate it when a man exhibits chivalrous behaviors towards you?
I enjoyed your post, BUT I say shame on you for painting the entire East Coast in a bad light. There are chivalrous men in all states. There are jerks in all states. I still remember getting my first flat tire on a major highway in the DC metropolitan area. Traffic whizzed by me at 70 miles for a few minutes but then a man stopped, changed my tire and explained what he was doing as he did it so I would know the next time. He even advised me to have the lug nuts tightened by hand because I never would have been able to loosen the machine-tightened ones on my own. When years later I left the office to find another flat tire, I started to change it but a coworker came out and insisted I let him do it. This year in Texas, I got a flat tire on HWY 10. Nobody stopped to help or even ask if I was okay. That doesn’t lead me to believe that all Texans are bad or rude or uncaring. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t perpetuate the stereotypes about my friends, relatives and kind strangers I’ve met on the East Coast. As my dad told me once, “There is good in the worst of us and bad in the best of us. So it doesn’t pay any of us, to talk about the rest of us.”
You are absolutely correct. I should not paint the entire East Coast in a bad light. Your comment has caused me to reflect and I recall that I have encountered some chivalrous men from the East Coast in my travels. So, I will rephrase my blog post to the obvious lack of home training of the man I encountered on my troubled bike ride. Also, I really like the comment your father told you – it is so true.
Thanks for your comment.
Sad but true. Not every man has been thru 4H or Boy Scouts. This may not be received well by some but he was definitely not a Texan.