GOSSIP FROM THE GIRLFRIEND GATHERINGS

Learning from YOU to empower ME !

Drunken Behavior – Sober Thoughts

By

Drunken Behavior – Sober Thoughts

St. Patrick’s Day has just passed where the tradition is to wear green and imbibe a little extra in celebrating the holiday.    In discussing this with one of my faithful blog readers, she suggested I write about persons who drink just a little too much.  Of course, this brought to mind one of those old sayings of my grandmother and a bad date memory from my past. 

My grandmother always said “A drunken man’s behavior is a sober man’s thoughts.”  When you are young and you hear these sayings you wonder their meanings but in time you will probably have an experience that will make it all clear.

When I was in my early 20’s and still partying a lot, I met a guy who was sexy, had a fast car, and was a great dancer.   He was just what you looked for in your 20’s.   He was a pretty amicable guy but he had one bad habit that I conveniently overlooked at first.   He drank too much and to make bad matters worse he was always buying me drinks, too.

Being a person that likes to be in control, I soon noticed that I was drinking a little too much so I started refusing his offers of drinks.  I also noticed that he even started carrying a flask in his car and was never without a drink – – – – – even before noon —-and slowly my opinion of him became a little tarnished.   One night it all came to a head.

We had a date to go dancing and at the last minute he told me we were invited to a birthday party of one of his friends.   While we were there he started to drink more than usual and his behavior became a little bizarre.  It soon became apparent to me that I would have to drive.  I also noticed that maybe it was something more between he and his friend who was an older married woman.  Her husband was throwing this party and I suspect this was getting to her secret admirer, my date.

Needless to say, I was fuming but since I am not one to make a big scene I whispered to him I was ready to leave.  His answer was to shove his hand down the front of my dress and grab my breast.   I slapped him so hard that it felt like I broke my wrist.  It was swollen for 2 whole days.

Now, I had made a big scene but I did not care.  Everyone rushed over to us.   The hostess of the party asked me to forgive him because he had imbibed too much.  Her husband wrangled the keys from him so I could drive.  

Prior to that date, he had been making comments about my not drinking with him anymore.  I know he did that to me to humiliate me because I was no longer imbibing with him.  

I can still see myself stomping down those steps in my high-heel shoes to the car.   He hung his head and passed out in the passenger seat while I drove to my home.   I left him passed out parked in his car on the side of the street near my home.  

He called the next day to apologize.  I listened and told him to go to hell.    It was over.

Now, I do not tolerate drunkards.   A man who drinks to the point his speech is slurred and his mobility is impaired is definitely a turn off and a sign that something more is going on.

 Question:

Have you had a negative experience due to someone drinking too much?    Please share.

Fixer Uppers

By

 

I am creating this post on a break at the San Diego State University Writers’ Conference.    I attended this conference for some inspiration and to also have the opportunity to visit one of my girlfriends that live in this beautiful city.    We met many years ago in the back of an aerobics class as we tried desperately to keep up with it.   Laughing at ourselves and each other, we soon became good friends, next-door neighbors, and long-distance confidants when she moved back to her home city of San Diego.   So, it is only fitting that the topic of this post will relate to one of our past gatherings.

Some years ago, my girlfriend divorced the same year that I broke off a long-term relationship.   To commemorate this passage into another phase of “womanhood” we flew off to the Bahamas with a group of other girlfriends to relax and regroup.   As expected, the topic of what we wanted in the next relationship was discussed and the one thing this particular friend stated was she definitely did not want a “fixer-upper”.

This term really piqued my interest and I asked her to define a “fixer upper”.   To summarize (and formalize) her definition —- if a woman has to educate and/or motivate a man “to be all that he can be”, then he is a “fixer upper”.    Wow!   This was an interesting “measurement” and totally subjective.    I wondered what type of man I would classify as a fixer-upper.  A man’s work would not bother me as long as it was honorable but I would have problems with bad/uncouth table manners, personal hygiene issues, and dialogue that only contained monosyllables.

I asked my girlfriend what she would DO if she met a fixer-upper.    She told me she would write him off but not before the first date.   I laughed and asked her why.   Her response was “They’re all good for a seafood dinner”.   She asked me what I would do if I met a fixer-upper and I told her I would buy my own seafood dinner.   

Questions:

  Do you agree with the definition of a “fixer-upper”?

  What would you do if you met a fixer-upper?