GOSSIP FROM THE GIRLFRIEND GATHERINGS

Learning from YOU to empower ME !

Facing the Music – (from all of that Holiday Cheer)!

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Well, it is 30 days into the New Year – 2012.     I am just now coping with the results of all of my holiday cheer.   I must admit I had a blast.   I started celebrating long before Thanksgiving.   First, I called up friends that I visit with infrequently during the year and had dinner with them……one at a time.    I had wonderful holiday meals with family and extended those celebrations well into the new year.   I ate all of my favorite foods at my favorite restaurants in “wild abandon”.  As for exercise, well, the only muscles that got a good workout were my jaw muscles……chewing, chewing, and chewing.

I had a strategy.   Keep exercising (cardio/walking 5 hours a week) and adhere to the eating plan except for the meal on Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day.  I allowed myself to eat what I wanted at those meals……. but no seconds!   (I did this a couple of years ago and actually lost 2 pounds during the holidays).   But, when I started partying with friends and family, my strategy just seemed really restrictive.

So, here I am – 15 pounds heavier – (gained from Nov 1 thru Jan 30).   But, I have decided not to be upset about it.   I enjoyed myself.   I did not buy a lot of material gifts but I spent quality time with those persons that were important to me.

Now, it is time to get back to my “healthy” program and I am having a difficult time getting started again.    I have discovered that the holiday eating rejuvenated my sugar and caffeine cravings.  They are back with a vengeance.    Sugar and caffeine are truly addictive for me and I experience withdrawal symptoms whenever I avoid them in my diet.    Those symptoms basically include irritability and fatigue which lasts about two weeks.    However, once the symptoms are gone, I have lots of energy and the will to continue on the healthy path.

Tomorrow my extended holiday celebrations officially end with the completion of the last of my favorite chocolate.  On February 1st, I will start the healthy life again.     Anyone care to join me?

 

QUESTION(S):

  1.  How were your eating habits during the holidays?
  2. Were you able to eat in “moderation”?   If so, please share your strategies.
  3. Are you feeling guilty about the results of your “holiday cheer”?   If so, tell us why?

A Girlfriend Gathering – On The Road at the Hotel Galvez

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Known as the “Queen of the Gulf”, the Hotel Galvez stands proudly on Seawall Boulevard in Galveston, Texas.   She has stood there for 100 years, a survivor of the devastating weather that often arrives from the companion and adversary that she faces every day – the mighty Gulf of Mexico.

Just an hour drive from downtown Houston, this hotel has become a favorite spot for myself and my girlfriends to runaway to on the occasional beautiful Sunday morning when a mimosa in hand  and an ocean vista is the right antidote after a long week.  Named after Bernardo de Galvez, the Spanish Colonial governor that chartered the Texas Gulf Coast and the city that bears his name, the architecture of the hotel has all the glamour and flavor of the Spanish hacienda.   In 1980, it was aptly named in the National Registrar of Historic Places, which is the official list of our nation’s historic places worthy of preservation.  

As a native Texan and a history “buff”, I enjoy visiting this hotel for an occasional Sunday Brunch.   The “old world” atmosphere and glamour with a picturesque view of the palm trees waving at the ocean is very relaxing.   Overall, the food offerings are similar to other upscale hotel brunches but the Hotel Galvez will offer something a little different – spicy, flavorful, extraordinary – something with that Texas flare.   It is always a tasty and delightful surprise.

So, if you feel like a pleasant long drive, grab your girlfriends, hop on I-45 and head south.   Eventually, you will reach the mighty Gulf and the Queen that reigns there.

Coming Apart

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The divorce rate in the United States is 45.8 percent.   This means that 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce.   With this statistic, we can safely speculate that there is also a high turnover in couple relationships prior to marriage.   So, what is happening?    What prevent couples from staying together?

There is a premise that some relationships are destined to come apart.   This premise suggests that couples come together for a common need/goal but some individuals may have a personal need/goal that they are trying to satisfy.  

This personal need/goal can be a conscious one or even a subconscious one and usually is not communicated to the other individual in the relationship.  When that personal need/goal is met, sometimes that individual decides to move on to another personal need/goal which may compromise the current relationship.

Is this done in a deliberate and considerate manner?   What do you think?   

Sometimes the person that wants out of the current relationship starts to act out – consciously or subconsciously – to sabotage the relationship.    Getting involved with others and leaving clues to be discovered or purposely exceeding the boundaries of the relationship are the common methods.   Some persons cannot or will not express that they just want “out”.   They do stupid things to wound and humiliate the other party creating lifelong resentments. 

 Most of us just do not believe that a relationship can be ended gracefully.

It would be easier if we fully understand why and how we choose our specific mates.  It would be easier if we all could be totally honest with one another about the reasons why we want a relationship with the other person.   We probably would find that many of these reasons would be more practical and realistic than idealistic and there would probably be fewer marriages.   But, I bet those that did get married would probably stay together fulfilling their commitment.

There is a wonderful book on this subject that I read over 10 years ago and plan to re-visit again.   Even though I am not in a current relationship, I believe this book is a good pre-requisite to beginning a relationship.   The title is “Coming Apart: Why Relationships End and How to Live Through the Ending of Yours” by Daphne Rose Kingma.

Check it out.   You may find it enlightening.

Question(s):

  1.  Do you know of any relationship that truly ended gracefully?   If so, please share.
  2. Would you be offended if a person told you that they wanted to marry you for a practical reason (i.e., I think we could build a good life together) instead of professing an “undying” love for you?

“The Help” – A Girlfriend Gathering Review

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Recently, my girlfriends and I turned our bi-monthly brunch dates into book club meetings.   Our first book was “The Help” by Kathryn Stockett.   We met, ate Red Velvet pancakes (with cream cheese, chocolate drops and warm syrup), discussed the book and darted off to the theatre to see the movie.   Below are the reviews:

Book Review

 With prose where no word was wasted, Kathryn Stockett reminded us of a historical period that some revere and others regret.   She took us on a journey where women, Black and White, evolved in self-discovery despite the constraints of the society in which they lived.   Even though this was a work of fiction, the presentation of the characters and their lives enlightened us to the undercurrents and bonds that surely existed in a time when racial  and sexual boundaries were so distinct.

Abileen – with her slow burning courage,  Minny – with her feisty stance on demanding her due respect, Celia – with her color-blind humanity, and Skeeter – with her birthing impatience of her stagnant environment, taught us to transcend those stereotypes that we may harbor from a time we never experienced.   These characters, along with the many others, lived and breathe in my imagination throughout this book.  There was not one moment when it was easy to put it down which is truly the sign of an excellent writer.

Movie Review

 Although there were a few changes to the movie adaptation of the book, the movie portrayal did not waver from the integrity of the story presented in the book.    I was VERY pleased of this fact.

Viola Davis (Abileen), Octavia Spencer (Minny), Emma Stone (Eugenia – Skeeter),  Bryce Dallas Howard (Hilly),  Jessica Chastain (Celia), and Ahna O’Reilly (Elizabeth) portrayed their characters EXACTLY as I imagined them.   Their voices, dialogue, appearances, mannerisms……….everything…..was just as I imagined from the book.    In my opinion, all of them deserve the Oscar.  However, I must state that I wanted to slap Hilly much more from the movie version than from reading the book so maybe the Oscar should go to Bryce Dallas Howard.

I must also comment on the movie settings and the authenticity to furnishings and clothing details.   They were magnificent in setting the mood and the tone for the time period.

Overall, I was very pleased with the movie.   I saw it twice – once with my girlfriends and then, again, with my mother.   I HIGHLY recommend it to everyone that lives in the USA.

My Personal View

I am one that reveres the historical significance of this period and the sacrifices that everyone (Black and White) made to progress our country.  My grandmother and my aunt were maids when I was very young.   No one ever told me this but I remember seeing them in uniforms similar to what was depicted in the book/movie and I recall that my grandmother always worked late on the holidays because she was cooking at her job.   (She was a fabulous cook/baker.)   This book gave me a glimpse into their experiences.   It told me things about this part of their lives that they could not share with me because (I believe) they hoped for more for me.

It is easy to live in 2011 and look back in disdain on the 1960’s to say what we would do or not do – what we would tolerate or not tolerate.   But, as one who is a direct beneficiary of all of the pain and sacrifices experienced during that period, I challenge all of you to open your minds and glimpse into the heart and souls of those who truly had the courage to risk everything and demand change.   Even though this book and movie is a work of fiction, I believe it is an accurate portrayal of the diverse natures of those who actually lived the lives portrayed in the story.

QUESTIONS:

Did you read the book?   Did you see the movie?   If so, please share your thoughts about it.

Six Months Later – The Romance Checkpoint

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This post is for the romantics – for those that actively pursue those passionate and romantic moments in a relationship.

It has been six months since “V” Day and time to prompt all you lovers to check the romance gauge in your relationship.

Here is a checklist to get you started:

In the past six months…………………………

1. Have you received chocolates, flowers, love notes, etc.?

2. Has he called you by that endearing love name (sweetie, baby, etc)?

3. Has he offered to massage your feet?

4. Has he dropped by the office lately just to take you to lunch?

5. Have you been surprised with an invitation to a romantic candlelight dinner (that you did not have to prepare)?

6. Have you showered together?

7. Has he greeted you in a state of (sexy) undress with a chilled glass of wine?

8. Have you been serenaded with your favorite love song?

9. Have you swayed in his arms to the sound of a jazz saxophone?

10. Have you participated in non-routine lovemaking?

Give your mate 10 points for every “YES” answer. Please deduct 5 points for every “NO” answer.

70 or Higher is Passing
69 or Lower is Failing

If your total is a negative number, then drop that Zero and get yourself a Hero.

Questions:

How do you measure the romance in your relationship?

What are some of the things your mate does for you that you find romantic?