One of the matters that women tend to share with one another is their relational experiences with their mates.    In my circle of girlfriends and acquaintances, everyone seems to be content, but I must admit there are a couple of friends that warrant my concern.   Usually, I present myself as a sounding board only because I believe that each of us has a unique relational journey and my response to a situation may not be appropriate for another.    We all have our tolerance thresholds and ( since mine is low) I believe we should not impose them on others.

When someone decides to discuss their personal relationship with me I listen to the situation and inquire about the emotional health of my friend in an attempt to encourage her to take care of her health.    However, there have been a few situations where more probing questions were required because my belief system was challenged.    I concluded that some of us are ignoring obvious negative signs and entering into relationships/marriages when we should have sprinted through the nearest exit door away from that relationship.

Therefore, for this month where LOVE is the focus, I want to talk about the elements that should be present in a relationship BEFORE you take it into the commitment arena.    There are essential elements that should be present just because you are human beings and then there are others that develop as you take the appropriate time to relate to one another.       Here is my list:

HUMAN BASICS

Humility
Respect
Kindness
Thoughtfulness

RELATIONAL BASICS

Trust
Faithfulness
Adoration
Passion (Sexuality + Sensuality + Intimacy)
Humor

In my opinion, all of these elements should be present and non-negotiable before you start commingling your resources (time, assets, emotions, etc.).   However, I will confess that I am totally happy living alone and I have been told by some friends that they cannot live alone.    So, if you do compromise and accept a shorter list of these elements, just please don’t fool yourself into thinking he will CHANGE into what you want later because that “shiggity” never happens.

So, over the course of this month, I am going to write my opinion about each one of the elements of my “show me the love” list and, hopefully, it will help others in developing a kinder love relationship.

 

QUESTION(s):

What do you think about my list?    Would you add or delete any element?