This week I learned about a new holiday – National Ex-Spouse Day – which is celebrated on April 14th. The purpose of this day is to encourage positivity between ex-spouses to move past anger and resentment. I think this is a good idea especially for those divorced parents that must find a way to cooperate with one another for the sake of the children.
Then I thought about those persons who still want to be with their ex-spouses. I know there are numerous situations where one spouse did not want the divorce. My inquisitive mind wonders about the particulars of such relationships and the reason the couple could not put the effort in to working it out. However, I’ve never been married so perhaps it is beyond my understanding.
What I do know is that I have personally met two men who I definitely know had not “let go” of their first wives. Both of them were co-workers and they both had pictures of their first wives in prominent places in their work space while they lived at home with their second wives.
One of them had only been married 5 months when I met him and I thought the picture on his desk was of his newlywed bride. He promptly informed me she was his first wife of 20+ years, he still paid her mortgage, he did her yearly tax return, and he boasted about still having a key to her home. He even stated he knew she was still in love with him. I asked him the reason for the divorce and he told me she did not want to relocate to Houston when it was required of him for his career. So, he divorced her and moved on to a new wife. Then one weekend he returned to his hometown and tried to use that key. The lock had been changed. He was so outdone he came to work and actually told us about it. I had a real good belly laugh that day.
The other co-worker told me about his first wife and I swear there was love in his eyes. They had met in college and were from two different cultures. They had a son. The cultural differences are what broke them up. He told me that he did not know where they were now. Then he pulled open his desk drawer and showed me a picture of her that was tucked away. However, there was no picture of his current wife and their two children anywhere in the vicinity of his desk. I felt a little sadness for his situation.
So, what do persons who don’t have anger and resentment but a lingering love do on National Ex-Spouse Day? I wonder.
QUESTION(S)
What do you think about National Ex-Spouse Day?
