GOSSIP FROM THE GIRLFRIEND GATHERINGS

Learning from YOU to empower ME !

“What Love Ain’t” – Relational Pitfalls

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Remember that song from the movie Urban Cowboy with a young, sexy, John Travolta?  It was called “Looking for Love” sung by Johnny Lee.   I remember one of the verses said, “Looking for love in all the wrong places” which really was an eye opener for some.   It inspired some of us to stop hanging out in the nightclubs looking for Mr. Goodbar and refining our search for Mr. Right in a more meaningful manner.

Well, I want to talk about another pitfall to relationships.  If it were a song, it would be called “Looking for Love with all the Wrong Behaviors.”

Before we can begin to relate to and with another person, some of us need to do some work.  Some of us need to look internally at what is happening which makes us act out externally in relationships.   So, since this is the month for L-O-V-E, I want to spend some time sharing about “what love ain’t” and how we are sometimes the catalyst that creates our relational pitfalls.

So, pick your favorite chocolate from the box, grab a glass of scrumptious bubbly and drop by for an informative visit throughout the month.

Love Story Starter #2

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Here is the story starter sentence:

The line on her ring finger betrayed her and she feared he would leave. He smiled and slid onto the stool next to her.

Here is LOVE STORY STARTER #2

The line on her ring finger betrayed her, and she feared he would leave. He smiled and slid onto the stool next to her.  Delilah was a little surprised, but perhaps she should not have been.  It was the age of the 50% divorce rate, and the ring finger line was now just as normal as apple pie.  Everyone said being divorced was no longer a label to feel disgraced about so she was determined to find a way to not feel like such a failure.   Ready, willing, and liberated. Tonight may be the first attempt in that direction.

Delilah glanced at his left hand and noticed there was a ring. She was surprised again because she knew he had no reason to wear it anymore.   Even though this night was about her and the pursuit of her desires, she paused for a moment to consider if she had made a wise choice in traveling down memory lane.

“You came,”  Delilah said.  She made direct eye contact with him.

“Yeah, I had to,”  Wilt said.

He looked around the bar and motioned to the bartender. The bartender came over and Wilt ordered a scotch.   He turned to her again with that half-smile that had captured Delilah’s heart more than ten years ago.

“It’s been a while,”  Wilt said.

“Yes, a very long while,” Delilah said.

“So, how have you been?”  He asked.

“Better.  Now.   You?”

Delilah watched as Wilt glanced down at his ring finger before he answered.

“Life had been good up until last year.”   He said.

“I know,”  Delilah said.  “I heard about Beverly.”

Delilah watched as Wilt twisted his band around his ring finger.

“Yeah, it was rough,”   Wilt said.

“It didn’t have to be,”   Delilah said.   She reached over and covered his hands.

The bartender arrived with Wilt’s scotch.   Delilah picked up her Long Island Iced Tea and proposed a toast.

“Here’s to reunions,” she said.

They tapped their glasses together and sipped their own drinks. Wilt put his glass down on the bar and made direct eye contact with Delilah.

“So, tell me, Delilah, why am I here?”  Wilt asked.

Delilah picked up her drink again and drained it.   She motioned to the bartender to bring her another one.

“Simple.  I want you. Again.”  Delilah said.

She reached into her purse, grabbed her room key, and slid it next to his drink on the bar.

Wilt looked at the key and picked up his drink.

“Really?” he asked.  “After what happened between us?”

Delilah laughed as she took the drink the bartender offered.

“Because of what happened between us.”

“Yeah.” Wilt replied as he pushed the room key back towards Delilah.  “That was something.”

Love Story Starter #1

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Here is the story starter sentence:

She felt as though she had just been given a death sentence as he slipped the ring on her finger.

Here is LOVE STORY STARTER #1

Pastor Henderson’s voice came toward me like water rushing through a tunnel.    I gulped down the knot of dread in my throat when Max lifted my hand.  He started repeating the words after Pastor Henderson.  I felt as though I had just been given a death sentence as he slipped the ring on my finger.    I closed my eyes for a moment to allow another face, another smile into my thoughts but Max squeezed my hand and snapped me back.  I knew I had to give my full attention to Pastor Henderson now.   I focused long enough to get through my wedding vows without a stumble.  Later, I posed in front of the altar for a photo shoot with my best friend and maid of honor.

“Are you okay?” Sandra asked

“Yes.” I said, holding onto my smile for the photographer’s camera.

“I wish you hadn’t done this.”   Sandra said.

Her words pushed me out of the pose, and I gave the photographer the time-out signal.  I turned to Sandra taking her hand and led her away into the dressing room locking the door behind us.   I walked across the room to the full-length mirror on the wall and stood in front of it to see if I still appeared the happy bride.   From the mirror, I saw the disappointment in Sandra’s eyes as she watched me.

“Look, you of all people know why I did this.”  I said.

“No, I don’t.”  Sandra said.

“I can’t do it alone.”

“You have resources and support.”

“I don’t want to do it alone.”

“You could have raised your child without this farce.”  Sandra said.  “I’m doing it.”

“But, I’m not you.”  I said.   “I don’t want to raise mine alone.”

“His father was willing to make a family.”

“Yes, but I didn’t want to marry him.” I said.  “He was just a fling.”

“Isn’t that what Max is really?  A fling?  An escape from the one you want but can’t have?”  Sandra walked around and stood next to the mirror facing me.  “You know you don’t love him.”

I looked directly at her face and saw her tight lips.   I knew I could never make her understand.  I just don’t have her strength.

“Look, Max has been a good friend over the years.  He will be a good husband, and he adores my son.   That’s all that matters.”

“That’s what you say, now.”

“That’s what I know now.”

“Ok, I give up.” Sandra said.   She turned and walked toward the door yanking it open.   I walked passed her, and we both stepped out into the hallway.

“Here comes your husband now.” Sandra said.   I saw Max and the photographer coming our way.

Soon we were finally done with all of the posing and posturings.    We rushed to the reception. We walked into the captain’s ballroom to the applause of our guests, and all I could hope for was to keep my smile in place.   After standing in the reception line, dancing with Max and my Dad, my feet ached. I needed a breather.   A restroom break was the perfect excuse.  Even in my wedding dress, I was able to sneak outside and up to the promenade deck.   The health club/spa was dark, but the door to the lobby area was open and offered the refuge I needed.   I sat on the bench farthest away from the door so that I wouldn’t be seen by anyone taking a late night walk.

Sandra was right but so was Max.   There was no reason for me to raise Joey alone.   Max and I had been friends for a long time.  This friendship was a good start.   Wasn’t it?   I’ll learn to love him in time.  Won’t I?

The moonlight gleamed over the calm of the ocean beyond the ship. I wanted that peaceful feeling to embrace me now.

“Hey”.

I jumped at the sound of that voice and turned toward the door.

“Sorry.  I didn’t mean to scare you.”   A tall silhouette said and slipped in the doorway.

“Troy?”   I said.

“Yes”.

“You’re here?”

“Yes.” The tall silhouette said as he walked toward me opening his arms.

I stood up and glided right into his embrace.  Now I was calm again.

Celebrate LOVE

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February is the celebration month for lovers.    Some of you may know that I am a writer working on my first novel series.   The novel series category is Women’s Fiction with a Romantic Element which means that my heroine character overcomes an obstacle to becoming the best woman she can be and on her journey, she discovers a worthy love.    I am inspired to write about relationships and the human motivations to acquire this thing called LOVE.  Many times I am asked about the inspiration for story ideas.    I call them sparks.   These sparks can come from an overheard conversation or a song on the radio.

As with any art form, writing requires practice.   One of the exercises I do is to read a sentence and write a scene utilizing that sentence.   I use story prompts and write for about 30 minutes.   Some of the results are interesting, and I may use them for future stories.     This month, I want to share a few of the love stories I started as my way of celebrating Valentine’s Day in a fun and creative way.   I hope you will enjoy and give me some feedback on The Love Story Starters.

Love Story Starter #1 will be posted on tomorrow.

Show ME the LOVE ! – Passion

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You meet a man who has that “hot” factor and falls into your “panty dropper” category. Some would call this feeling passion, but it is lust defined as “an intense feeling of sexual desire.” Lust is a normal feeling and acceptable to act on as long as you keep it in perspective. Usually, it is what fuels the early phase of a relationship. If you want a long-term relationship, then look for a mate that wants to progress to a mature one and not remain here in the lust phase. The passing of time will wear on lust.

Passion is a combination of sexual desire, romantic love, sensual pleasure, and self-fulfillment. It comes from a couple knowing and growing with one another. Contented individuals in a relationship bring a positive energy to it. Equality and support in a relationship can improve the emotional connection and enhance the passion. Therefore, it requires a certain level of relational maturity and commitment to get to this state.

Passion is the last relational trait on my list because you truly need to have the others (humility, respect, kindness, thoughtfulness, faithfulness, humor, and adoration) present in your relationship to reach this point. When a couple can communicate their desires and the willingness to fulfill their partner’s desires, then they will eventually reach the passionate state.

QUESTION(s):

Do you believe in passion?

How do you feel about lust? Should one suppress it? Or act on it?