Elaine Gray, Author at GOSSIP FROM THE GIRLFRIEND GATHERINGS

Blogalicious 2014 – Adding to My Creative Tribe

November 10, 2014 By Elaine Gray

Sometimes the thing that pops into your life unexpectedly is the one thing that you soon realize had been missing. This was the case with my attendance at the Blogalicious 2014 Conference in San Antonio, Texas this past weekend.

This conference had not been on my radar. I heard about it a couple of years ago and made a note but did not pursue it. Then this past July, 2014, I was in San Jose at the BlogHer conference and I met the Co-Founder and Chief Curator, Stacey Ferguson, along with several other bloggers who were past attendees of Blogalicious. In discussions with them I discovered that the 2014 conference city was in my backyard in San Antonio. So, this past week, I packed up my bags and headed west to The Alamo City along with my good friend and fellow writer/blogger, Anne Boyd, of Am I Vintage Yet (www.amivintageyet.com)

We arrived and the first thing we noticed was that the pace ramped up quickly. My first impression was this conference was not for the faint at heart. If you were afraid to dream and think BIG then you were in the wrong place. There were so many progressive speakers from the blogging world who were sharing their knowledge and energy in helping attendees identify their needs and a path to progress their blog/brand. I walked away from that conference with so much homework and so many ideas for my blog site. I made some new connections with brilliant, smart, positive, and beautiful women from all over the country. Also, I acquired some great blog topics to post so I will be sharing some great information with you over the next few weeks.

It wasn’t all work at the conference. We did have some fun. We had a private film screening of the movie “Beyond the Lights” presented by Relativity Media at the AMC Rivercenter Theatre. The movie is a wonderful love story and you should plan to see it. After the movie, we had a Q&A session with writer and director Gina Prince-Bythewood. During the conference days, we also had the opportunity to chat with producer, writer, director Issa Rae (www.issarae.com) and actor Lamann Rucker (www.lamannrucker.com). One evening we relaxed with a really funny comedienne, Aida Rodriguez (www.funnyaida.com), who gave me some good belly laughs and I thank her for that because I really needed it. Plus, the sponsors treated us really good with hospitality suites and events that involved food and cocktails.

Overall, it was a fabulous high-energy conference and Blogalicious is now definitely on my path to success.

Nov. 4th – Get Your Vote On!

November 3, 2014 By Elaine Gray

Believe it or not, one of my girlfriends and I made going to vote a girlfriend gathering. We both like to vote during the early voting period, so we would decide on a date and take a long lunch break from the office to vote and share lunch together. Since we are both female and African-American, voting is important to us because we realize it took two heroic movements (Women’s Rights and Civil Rights) to give us that right.

We enjoy seeing all of the people out voting especially during the early voting period because it is an indicator of possible attendance during the general election day. However, on one of our past voting gatherings we endured an experience that was a test to our patience and really had a negative impact on me.

On this particular day, there was a long line for early voting. Every voting day was a long line because it was during the 2008 Presidential election and then Senator Barack Obama was the Democratic candidate. We knew the waiting period would be long so we stood patiently chatting. We noticed an elderly African-American woman, easily in her late 70’s or early 80’s, standing in the line ahead of us. My friend was called in with a group before me to vote and left me in the line. I was standing near the security desk so I started chatting with the young African-American female security guard. I noticed another African-American woman, easily in her 50’s, standing near the security desk but not in the voting line.

The young security guard commented to me that she would be glad when the general election was over because she had been working extended hours during the early voting period. Suddenly, the other woman commented that she would be glad when the election was over, too. She went on to say that she wanted no part of this “mess” and the only reason she was there was because her mother insisted on coming and could not drive. I realized that the elderly woman we noticed previously was her mother.

Anger rose up in me and I was speechless – which is unusual for me! I know I gave that woman a look of disgust before I turned to the young security guard to reply. I told her just to have a little more patience with the voters because so many people had struggled, suffered and died for us just to have the right to be there. I told her to think of the journey of her ancestors and with that comment I turned to give that ignorant woman one last look of contempt before I stepped forward in the line.

It is in my nature to reason with those who may suffer from a lack of knowledge but there was nothing to redeem with this woman. Her elderly mother was determined that she was going to cast her vote for the soon-to-be first African-American President. She had the tenacity to badger her ignorant and unwilling daughter to bring her to vote. Yet, the daughter stood 3 feet from the voting line and refused to vote. I often wonder if I could have said something to encourage her to get in that voting line.

I know there are many of our citizens in an apathetic state about our government and choose not to vote. It may not be you but I know that most of us know at least one person in this state. I want to challenge you to encourage them to vote. Remind them of the birth and history of our country. Remind them of the struggles of some citizens just to attain the right to vote. Let us strive to replace apathy with civic duty in our communities.

I hope all that read this post are active voters. If not, please reconsider.

Question(s):

What do you feel about the voting process?

How do you feel about your right to vote?

H-Town Happenings – Hanging Out with Oprah and Her Trailblazers!

October 20, 2014 By Elaine Gray

It was fantastic news when I learned months ago that my hometown – Houston – was on Oprah’s The Life You Want Tour. There was only one thing for me to do – buy a ticket and mark the dates. So this past weekend Oprah and her Trailblazers (Deepak Chopra, Rob Bell, Elizabeth Gilbert and Iyanla Vanzant) graced our presence here in the Toyota Center. We gave Oprah a hearty Texas-sized welcome and showed her there are many here who really love her!

The positive energy was contagious among the attendees as we hung out in O-Town and inside the Toyota Center jamming with DJKISS as she played funky celebration music for us (http://www.kissthedeejay.com). Needless to say, there was a huge female presence at the tour but, surprisingly, there were many brave and secure men in attendance, too. We, attendees, wore these wonderful bracelets that lit up in various colors at certain points during the event. This small item united all of us and made us one with a directed focus in the Toyota Center. It was simple yet amazing.

When Oprah appeared on the stage in the Toyota Center it was thrilling. Just the fact that she created this tour is inspirational because it demonstrates her genuine commitment to enlightening and inspiring the world community. Oprah shared with us her thoughts and feelings about her life journey. She encouraged us to open ourselves to the unlimited possibilities of the universe and to have faith that God will be with us and for us on our journeys.

As a person who learned Transcendental Meditation (http://www.tm.org) in 1995 and paid $1000 to learn, Deepak Chopra delivered a fabulous life-changing gift to every attendee when he taught and led a TM session. He imparted his wisdom to us on the importance of the mind-body relationship and it’s relation to our spiritual well being. This was a rejuvenation moment for me because I have not practiced TM for many years now and just started again last week. Also, I have also neglected my spiritual life even though I believe the quote from Pierre Teilhard de Chardin – “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” So Deepak Chopra’s directions were of special interest to me.

Rob Bell gave us guidance on finding purpose, finding joy in our daily lives and reconnecting with God.

Elizabeth Gilbert challenged us to step out of the lives others have built for us and to set off on our own quest. She helped me to realize that all of those times I packed up and traveled away from my daily life were mini-quests. I knew that at a gut-level and secretly felt guilty about it but now I can fully embrace it.

Iyanla Vanzant directed us on the art of forgiveness and the importance it has on acceptance and moving forward in our lives.

We, the attendees, worked through exercises in the workbook that was provided to help us identify what we have been called to do. We were guided by Oprah as we awakened to the life we want, viewed and rated our lives today, discarded negative language and chose a new language in our lives, and created a specific NEW vision for our lives to declare into the universe. It was INCREDIBLE as Oprah patiently guided us through these workbook exercises. She even gave us homework to send her our new vision before Sunday, 10/19/14, 5pm CDT and I tweeted mine on Saturday night. She told us she enjoys reading them. It was challenging to describe it in 140 characters but I did it.

Near the end of the event, there was a session where Oprah selected a few of the attendee questions to be answered by the Trailblazers. The tour ended with Oprah encouraging us and giving us permission to have a limitless vision for ourselves; to open ourselves to God’s purpose and be obedient. She told us to get clear about what we want and to have faith that it will happen.

I have wrapped myself with all of the positive energy and guidance from Oprah’s The Life You Want Tour Weekend to implement in my life. One of the quotes I learned there that resonates with me is one by Paulo Coelho, “And, when you want something all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Today, I wrote a full page document on the specifics of the new vision for my life and I have declared that vision to the universe. I know I have work to do. I know the work will be challenging. I know there will be some “letting go”. And, because of this weekend, I know that now I am ready.

QUESTION(S):

Do you want a new limitless vision for your life?

Jealousy – The Green-Eyed Monster of Self-Destruction

October 1, 2014 By Elaine Gray

These past couple of weeks in Houston we watched the drama unfold as Dr. Ana Gonzalez-Agulo faced justice for poisoning her lover, Dr. George Blumenschein, by putting anti-freeze in his coffee. Both are prestigious cancer doctors at M.D. Anderson Hospital which is renowned for the treatment of cancer. It seems that Dr. Gonzalez-Agulo could not bear the thought of Dr. Blumenschein plans to have a child with his longtime girlfriend, Dr. Evette Toney.

What is baffling is that Dr. Gonzalez-Agile entered into this relationship with Dr. Blumenschein knowing he had a longtime, live-in girlfriend. She knew her position in his life and I imagined he was so comfortable that he may have been callous in discussing his relational life with the longtime girlfriend with her. He probably thought that behavior was acceptable since she had full knowledge of his primary relationship. So, what happened to make her throw her whole career and life away? What made her decide to destroy another person’s health in attempt to destroy his life? Why didn’t she just walk away?

Jealousy.

Merriam-Webster defines jealousy as “an unhappy or angry feeling of wanting to have what someone else has.”

I call it the green-eyed monster that consumes your reason when you realize you cannot control another human being.

Some of us (women) are so emotionally fractured that we cannot imagine life without a man – even a piece of a man. We know that Dr. Gonzalez-Agulo is a brilliant woman to reach the pinnacle of her career and to work at M.D. Anderson hospital helping so many women with breast cancer. However, because of this destructive emotion and her actions in the midst of it, Dr. Gonzalez-Agulo has been found guilty of aggravated assault and will serve 10 years in a Texas prison.

What a waste.

http://www.click2houston.com/news/doctor-found-guilty-of-poisoning-exlover-sentenced-to-10-years/28313270

QUESTION(S):

Have you ever experienced the green-eyed monster named Jealousy?

Do you have any advice on combating this self-destructive emotion?

Best Things in Life #9 – A Bike Ride

September 3, 2014 By Elaine Gray

I won’t say exactly how many years it has been since I threw my leg over, mounted, and rode a bike. However, I will give you a hint – Beyoncé wasn’t born yet when I did it last. So, when one of my girlfriends suggested joining her on her weekend bike rides I laughed – loudly.

This conversation occurred on an early cold morning this past March, 2014 while my friend was waiting for the start of the Tour de Houston. A small group of us had decided to cheer her off, go have breakfast, and cheer her back when she crossed the finish line after her 40-mile ride. Before she rode off, she announced to us that she was going to nag us until we agreed to join her for the 2015 Tour de Houston.

At breakfast, we munched and discussed her outlandish comment. However, by the time we stopped for coffee at Starbucks the idea wasn’t so crazy anymore. At the finish line, we gave her flowers and told her we had decided to join her next year – but only for the 20-mile ride. After all, we had a whole year to train.

That was the beginning of the wonderful times we have been sharing since March, 2014.

Now, the four of us meet every Saturday morning at 6:30am to ride our bikes on the trails in Deussen Park which is near Lake Houston. We meet this early because it is September in Houston and even then it is humid. Our weekly distance is already at and beyond 20 miles. We started our rides on old and borrowed bikes but now each one of us has spent $1000+ on a new bike and accessories. The guys at Bike Barn are our new best friends and we call our bikes our new boyfriends. They are reliable, exciting, and sure do give us a thrill!

There have been some down times – crashes, chasing dogs, falls & setbacks, aching muscles – which we have encountered but mostly there has been lots of laughter and camaraderie. Some of us have started our rides with the handle bars turned backwards, helmets on backwards, and dragging from too much fun the night before. However, the two things we can always count on is encouragement from each other and the beautiful sights as we pedal, pedal, pedal on the bike paths, through the woods, up the hills and near the lake. When we need a water break we hang out at Pavilion #9 which I named “Cloud 9”. It is also our meet-up point when we ride separate paths.

It only took the first ride for me to fall in love with biking again.

I can’t adequately describe to you how it feels to watch the sun rise over the lake as we pedal on our bike path with our laughter traveling on the wind but here is a photo to give you a glimpse.

Here are some more pictures of our beautiful views. All beautiful views captured and presented in this post were taken by one of my fellow bikers (Veronica Owens) who was featured for her photography on my blog site during Women’s History Month.

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