GOSSIP FROM THE GIRLFRIEND GATHERINGS

Learning from YOU to empower ME !

NaBloPoMo #4– The One Thing I Wish I Could Change About Me Is…….

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NaBloPoMo November 2013Women Having Coffee
I am a person that performs an annual self-evaluation usually around my birthday.   Normally, I review my “things-to-improve” list from the year before and attempt to give myself an objective status.    I must admit that there are some items that have remained on that list.    When I consider why these items remain I can relate them to one personality trait that is persistent in my life and the root cause.   The one thing I wish I could change.  I am a perfectionist.

This trait has positive and negative aspects.   The positive aspects of a high level of persistence and meticulous attention to detail have allowed me to overcome insurmountable obstacles in my life and obtain skills that make it possible to enjoy the life that I have now.     However, the negative aspects of procrastination, self-deprecation, and the “all-or-nothing” attitude are also a part of my life when I cannot reach one of my goals.   This behavior manifest into the symptoms of writer’s block, unhealthy eating habits, and sedentary lifestyle which causes a vicious cycle that is hard to stop.

At the worst case, perfectionism can cause anxiety, eating disorders, depression, and low self-esteem.

It has taken me years to understand the personality trait within me and accept that I cannot change it.   However, since I am cognizant, I am proactive about self-monitoring and avoiding negative thinking.   I am improving on my eating habits, increasing my physical activity, and using transcendental meditation techniques to maintain a balanced productive lifestyle.

Remembering Breast Cancer Awareness Month

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3 Women HealthOctober is Breast Cancer Awareness month.   In reflecting on this, I realized that in my circle of female family and friends, I know 7 families that have been impacted by this disease.    The age range of the women that were inflicted is from 20+ to 70+ and some survived while others succumbed to the disease.   Just thinking of these facts impressed upon me the prevalence of this disease in our society and the importance of embracing a lifestyle of prevention.

In studying the subject, I decided to share some of the information with you, my blog audience, in an effort to help you and yours.

Risk Factors

  1. Simply being a female.   You don’t have to have any of the other risk factors but if you are a woman that is sufficient for developing breast cancer.
  2. You had a prior infliction of breast cancer in one breast.
  3. You have other family members that have been inflicted with breast cancer.
  4. You have inherited a gene mutation (BRCA1 / BRCA2).
  5. You are obese (BMI greater than 30).
  6. You drink alcohol
  7. You have been exposed to radiation.
  8. You started your menstrual cycle at a young age.
  9. You started menopause at an old age.
  10. You had your first child at 35 or older.
  11. You have never been pregnant.
  12. You are post-menopausal and using hormone replacement therapy (HRT).
  13. Growing older.   As we age, the chance of developing breast cancer increases.  How do we escape this one?

 

Prevention Tips

  1. If you are child-bearing, breast feed your babies.
  2. If you are menopausal, limit the use of hormone replacement therapy (HRT).
  3. Be consistent with weight management.
  4. Exercise consistently and frequently – a 30 minute brisk walk 5 times/week is sufficient.
  5. Do not drink alcohol.
  6. Do not smoke.
  7. Beware of radiation exposure.
  8. Eating a healthy – while eating fruits/vegetables hasn’t shown to impact the breast cancer risk and eating low fat only slightly impacts the risk, it is still advantageous to eat healthy as this will help to control your weight and to reduce the risk for other diseases such as diabetes.

Monitoring Tips

  1. As I mentioned in an earlier blog post, the yearly mammogram is a necessary discomfort we must all bear to be aware.    After one of my friends lost her 20+ sister to breast cancer and reading these risk factors, it is now my belief that women should start having mammogram as early as possible…….maybe at 18 years of age.
  2. The monthly self breast exam is probably the most important monitoring tip.   We know our bodies better than anyone and will quickly notice any change.    My cousin, who is a breast cancer survivor, told me that she had just had a mammogram with normal results when she discovered a lump in her breast at her monthly self breast exam.     It was malignant but due to her early detection she won the battle.

 

In the U.S, it is estimated that approximately 233,000 women will have a breast cancer diagnosis.   There are many support organizations such as the Susan G. Komen (http://ww5.komen.org) and the Sisters Network (http://www.sistersnetworkinc.org) that are helping survivors and strive to help eradicate this disease.   I have not been overtly active in this cause beyond donating to it but, as woman, I think that I should consider other ways to show my support.     I hope after reading this blog post that some of you will have the same motivation.

Mood and Food – A Toxic Combination

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Women Having CoffeeHave you ever arrived home tensed/stressed and crunched through an entire row of crackers/cookies or munched to the bottom of a bag of chips?
Have you ever been in a blue mood and the only thing that lifted your spirits was a large bowl of creamy Dulce de Leche or Homemade Vanilla ice cream?
We all have been there and we all have done that!
In a session I had with an “eating management consultant” – (yes, they do exist), I was informed that anger was the driving force for munching/crunching through those crackers/cookies/chips and loneliness/affairs of the heart was the driving emotion to scooping up that luscious bowl of ice cream. Sometimes we feel much better after these episodes even though we may be confused at our sudden compulsive behavior. This behavior is termed “emotional eating” as we are using food to alter our mood.
Determining Emotional Eating
Some of us eat to feel safe and secure. Some of us consider food as our friend. Some of us eat to reward ourselves. Some of us even feel out-of-control just being around food. Some reasons for emotional eating can be negative and some can be positive but if you are eating for any reason other than satisfying a natural hunger, you are an emotional eater.
Emotional eating differs from our normal hunger feelings in that it is usually a specific craving response to a trigger and is only satisfied by a “comfort” food. These “comfort” foods can vary from fatty/sugar-laden foods that give a quick lift to the spirit OR foods with specific textures, taste, and smells. Sometimes indulging in these foods become a mesmerizing experience and we overeat until we are uncomfortable… Afterwards, we may have feelings of guilt about the overeating/bingeing and the unhealthy cycle starts over again.
Combating Emotional Eating
STEP 1 – The first step in the battle against emotional eating is to identify your triggers. Some of these triggers are:
1. Stress
2. Avoidance of Emotions
3. Boredom
4. Learned behaviors – food as a reward
5. Socializing with family/friends:

STEP 2 – The next step is to find another alternative to dealing with your “emotions” other than food. Here is a list of alternatives to consider:

1. Call a supportive family member/friend.
2. Listen to some music
3. Take a bubble bath
4. Become engrossed in a hobby

STEP 3 – One of the most important things you can do when reaching for that bowl of your favorite ice cream or tearing open that bag of chips is just to WAIT. Take a moment, grab a sheet of paper and just write down what you are feeling. Read it, consider it, and just wait. You may find that the craving will past and you will be able to resist.

STEP 4 – The step I  consider the most crucial is to just let the feelings flow. Cry if you need to, shout if you need to, rest if you need to – but don’t try to stop what you are feeling. Let your soul be your guide in these moments.

STEP 5 – Adopt a long-term plan of combating emotional eating by choosing a healthy lifestyle. Here are some tips to consider:

1. Get sufficient amount of sleep – 8 hours is recommended
2. Daily exercise – find a fun physical activity that will keep you motivated
3. Relax – consider meditation or just sit quiet for about 20 minutes each day and clear your mind
4. Foster quality relationships – those that bring positive energy to your life

Emotional eating is an easy response to adopt because we all have to feel emotions. It is a part of the human experience. But, if we realize that we can’t control everything and are cognizant of what we are feeling / why we are feeling it then we can avoid falling into this behavior.

QUESTIONS:

1. Have you ever indulged in emotional eating?
2. If so, what are your triggers?
3. Have you tried to battle emotional eating?
4. If so, were you successful? Please share your experience.

Bubbles and Bubbly – The Knockout Combination for Stress

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Whenever any of my girlfriends express having an unusual stressful day or week, I am quick to say, “Girl, take a bubble bath!”   Usually, this comment is met with a little surprise and an incredulous giggle but after I give them my recipe they usually succumb and try it.

Yes, yes, yes, there is a recipe for taking an effective relaxing bubble bath.   The first thing you have to do is “decide” to take a bubble bath.   This decision turns your focus from the stressful external event to the internal YOU.

First, turn the phone off and get everybody out of the house (if you don’t live alone).

Now go and pour yourself a glass of wine to enjoy in the bath….. red or white, it doesn’t matter just don’t think about it too much.   (Once I couldn’t decide and almost ruined the moment by getting stressed again but I solved it by having 2 glasses of wine —–1 red and 1 white!)   Place it (or them) in the freezer for a quick chill.

Next, you need to de-clutter the bathroom.   This will start to engage your senses and will be very pleasing to your eyes.  If it’s daytime and you have a window, open the curtains to bring in the sunshine or watch the rain falling.   If it’s nighttime, bring in some candles and turn off the overhead lights.   Put on your favorite music (To engage my sense of hearing, I put on music … maybe a little jazz or Native American flute……….or just listen to the solitude of my empty home.)  Next, choose a soothing-scented bubble bath liquid and start running the bath water, touching the water to acquire the right temperature.

Go and get your glass (or glasses) of wine.

While listening to the water filling the tub, disrobe and slowly stretch.   Step into the tub and don’t rush it.  Slowly sit down and stretch out ……savoring the warmth of the water on your skin until you are submersed to your chin (if possible).   Soak for at least 5 minutes before you sit up and start sipping your wine.    Alternate between soaking and sipping until the wine is gone, the bubbles have dissolved and the water is cold.

When you are done, step out, dry off, and collapse on your bed for a relaxing nap or a good night’s sleep.   Whatever you do, don’t worry about cleaning the bathtub until later because that thought will ruin the mood.   You have my permission to leave the tub dirty for a few hours!

Try it and enjoy!

QUESTIONS:

Do you like bubble baths?

If you do, are they relaxing to you?   How often do you take them?   Do you have a ritual for it?

If you don’t like bubble baths, why not?

Women of A Certain Age – The Yearly Mammogram

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Recently, I had my yearly visit with Lisa, the mammography technician at The Woman’s Place.

As I stood there holding my breath, with my breast feeling like a large lump of peanut butter smashed between two crackers, I wanted to scream at the “man” that had invented that damned torturous device used for the mammogram exam.

I vowed to research his name and send him a scathing email advising him to try it on certain parts of his body to attain empathy for the female experience.  However, like having a baby, the pain (and the vow) was soon forgotten as I went back into the “busy-ness” of my daily life.

Now, I have made a discovery that I plan to try next year.   Since none of my girlfriends have mentioned it to me, I assume that they have not made this discovery so I decided to blog about it this week.

3D Mammography – (called Tomosynthesis) – is the newest technology.   This type of mammogram shows the breast in slices and will detect small/hidden cancer, which is good news for women with dense breasts.  It has been reported there has been up to a 50% reduction in the false positive rate because of this new technology.  The best news is that it is now FDA approved and available to all women for a cost of the insurance payment plus $50 out-of-pocket.  I call that a bargain for reported less discomfort and more peace of mind.

Take this information, do your research, and consider this type of mammography for your next exam.

Also, I want to share a sad story with you about the importance of the yearly mammogram.   Once a group of female co-workers and I formed a mammogram pack to remind each other to make and keep our yearly mammogram exams.   One year, one of these co-workers informed us that she was in the advance stage of breast cancer.   We were all shocked and inquired as to how this remained undetected through her yearly exams.   She confessed to us that she had lied to us and it had been 10 years since she had a mammogram.    As a result, she had a double mastectomy to save her life.

I never understood why she lied to us each year.

So, ladies, please nudge all of the females in your life to take care of themselves.   Please share this information and this story with them.   Let them know that technology is changing and there are now easier ways to have this critical exam.

Questions:

Do you have your annual mammograms?

Do you have any friends that are neglectful with these critical exams?

Would you be willing to try the new technology?