GOSSIP FROM THE GIRLFRIEND GATHERINGS

Learning from YOU to empower ME !

Love Poem #3 – “Love Song for Antonia” by Langston Hughes

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If I should sing
All of my songs for you
And you would not listen to them,
If I should build
All of my dream houses for you
And you would never live in them,
If I should give
All of my hopes to you
And you would laugh and say: I do not care,
Still I would give you my love
Which is more than my songs,
More than any houses of dreams,
Or dreams of houses —
I would still give you my love
Though you never looked at me

This poem is clearly about unrequited love from the point of view of the rejected lover.   An example of this in the Greek tragedies is the story of Echo and Narcissus which you can read about by clicking the link below:

(http://myths.e2bn.org/mythsandlegends/userstory948-story-of-echo-and-narcissus.html)

Another example in classic fiction is Heathcliff and Isabella in Wuthering Heights which is one of my favorite stories depicting the complexities of LOVE.

 

QUESTION(S):

What are your thoughts about this poem?

Love Poem #2 – “Breath of a Rose” by Langston Hughes

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Love is like dew

On lilacs at dawn

Comes the swift sun

And the dew is gone.

 

Love is like star-light

In the sky at morn

Star-light that dies

When day is born.

 

Love is like perfume

In the heart of a rose

The flower withers

The perfume goes

 

Love is no more

Than the breath of a rose,

No more

Than the breath of a rose.

 

The poet is telling us that love is beautiful yet very fragile and fleeting.   Perhaps this type of love has contributed to our high divorce rate.

QUESTION(S):

What do  you think about this depiction of love?

February 2015 – A Fusion of Love and History

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February is the month we celebrate Love and African-American History.    So, I am going to be creative and fuse the two topics into my blog posts this month.  I will celebrate with the love poems of a great African-American poet, novelist, columnist, playwright, and social activist, Langston Hughes.

Langston Hughes

A year ago, I purchased the book “The Collected Poems of Langston Hughes” but have not had the opportunity to delve into it.  Now, I can devote this month to do so and share with you.    Let’s explore together what he has to say about that wonderful and perplexing human emotion – LOVE.

Read more about Langston Hughes here: (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Langston_Hughes)

He’s JUST a Man

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_DSC1998-EditRecently, I was asked for advice from a beautiful twenty-something young woman who is helping me to rediscover fitness in my life.    She needed some dating advice and I was flattered that she thought I could offer some helpful information to her.  After all, it has been awhile since I was twenty-something.

This young woman had recently reconnected with a male friend that she had worked with in the past.   He surprised her by confessing his feelings were more than friendship and asked if she would come and visit him as he lived in another city.   She was excited but apprehensive about this and asked my thoughts.

The first thing I did was to ask her about her feelings regarding his revelation and requests.   Her answers were very mature for her age.   She explained that she liked this young man and wanted to get to know him better “in a more-than-a-friendship way”.   However, she was concerned about going to his city and wanted to take things slow.  She wondered how to convey this to him.

I told her to tell him to come to her city (her “turf”)  for a visit and to tell him her boundaries.   She was amazed at my advice.   She asked, “Are you sure I can tell him my boundaries?   Is that okay?”    I laughed and told her it is perfectly fine for her to tell him her boundaries.   I asked her why she thought it would not be okay.   Her reply was, “Because he’s a man!”    I laughed and told her, “Yes, that’s right – he’s JUST a man”.     Her eyes lit up and she smiled.   I knew she understood.

It is important for young women (and some old ones, too) to understand that it is okay to have standards and boundaries for your relational life.    There was a time that women were considered “the prize” and she set the tone of the relationship.   Somehow that has gotten turned around and some of us are living a chameleon life.  We give a lot of energy trying to be a pleaser because we don’t want to be alone. Don’t lower your standards.   When you start contemplating them remind yourself….. “He’s JUST a man”.

QUESTION(S): What do you think about having dating standards?

 

The Best Things in Life #5 – Good Love

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Even though there have probably been more than a billion words written on the subject of LOVE, I feel compelled to send my words out into the world about it.   After all, it is Valentine’s Day – heart boxthe day for lovers.   Gifts will be given – candy, flowers, chocolate, jewelry, etc. and romantic dinners will be shared.  The retailers will be thrilled as they count their sales.   But, in my opinion, the best gift for Valentine’s Day cost nothing and should be given often – Good Love.

I believe good love is the aspiration of every couple with the pursuit of it bringing excitement to the relationship.    Good love is specific to each couple and should evolve with their personal growth so that the relationship does not grow stagnant.   Some aspects of good love should always seem elusive because the feeling that you have totally acquired it is the first step in taking it for granted.

And, with LOVE you should never take anything for granted.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

QUESTIONS:

How do you celebrate Valentine’s Day?

What do you think about “good love”?