GOSSIP FROM THE GIRLFRIEND GATHERINGS

Learning from YOU to empower ME !

H-Town Happenings – Hanging Out with Oprah and Her Trailblazers!

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It was fantastic news when I learned months ago that my hometown – Houston – was on Oprah’s The Life You Want Tour.    There was only one thing for me to do – buy a ticket and mark the dates.    So this past weekend Oprah and her Trailblazers (Deepak Chopra, Rob Bell, Elizabeth Gilbert and Iyanla Vanzant) graced our presence here in the Toyota Center.   We gave Oprah a hearty Texas-sized welcome and showed her there are many here who really love her!

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The positive energy was contagious among the attendees as we hung out in O-Town and inside the Toyota Center jamming with DJKISS as she played funky celebration music for us (http://www.kissthedeejay.com).   Needless to say, there was a huge female presence at the tour but, surprisingly, there were many brave and secure men in attendance, too.   We, attendees, wore these wonderful bracelets that lit up in various colors at certain points during the event.   This small item united all of us and made us one with a directed focus in the Toyota Center.   It was simple yet amazing.

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When Oprah appeared on the stage in the Toyota Center it was thrilling.   Just the fact that she created this tour is inspirational because it demonstrates her genuine commitment to enlightening and inspiring the world community.    Oprah shared with us her thoughts and feelings about her life journey.   She encouraged us to open ourselves to the unlimited possibilities of the universe and to have faith that God will be with us and for us on our journeys.

As a person who learned Transcendental Meditation (http://www.tm.org) in 1995 and paid $1000 to learn, Deepak Chopra delivered a fabulous life-changing gift to every attendee when he taught and led a TM session.    He imparted his wisdom to us on the importance of the mind-body relationship and it’s relation to our spiritual well being.   This was a rejuvenation moment for me because I have not practiced TM for many years now and just started again last week.   Also, I have also neglected my spiritual life even though I believe the quote from Pierre Teilhard de Chardin – “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”   So Deepak Chopra’s directions were of special interest to me.

Rob Bell gave us guidance on finding purpose, finding joy in our daily lives and reconnecting with God.

Elizabeth Gilbert challenged us to step out of the lives others have built for us and to set off on our own quest.   She helped me to realize that all of those times I packed up and traveled away from my daily life were mini-quests.   I knew that at a gut-level and secretly felt guilty about it but now I can fully embrace it.

Iyanla Vanzant directed us on the art of forgiveness and the importance it has on acceptance and moving forward in our lives.

We, the attendees, worked through exercises in the workbook that was provided to help us identify what we have been called to do.   We were guided by Oprah as we awakened to the life we want, viewed and rated our lives today, discarded negative language and chose a new language in our lives, and created a specific NEW vision for our lives to declare into the universe.   It was INCREDIBLE as Oprah patiently guided us through these workbook exercises.    She even gave us homework to send her our new vision before Sunday, 10/19/14, 5pm CDT and I tweeted mine on Saturday night.   She told us she enjoys reading them.   It was challenging to describe it in 140 characters but I did it.

Near the end of the event, there was a session where Oprah selected a few of the attendee questions to be answered by the Trailblazers.   The tour ended with Oprah encouraging us and giving us permission to have a limitless vision for ourselves; to open ourselves to God’s purpose and be obedient.  She told us to get clear about what we want and to have faith that it will happen.

I have wrapped myself with all of the positive energy and guidance from Oprah’s The Life You Want Tour Weekend to implement in my life.  One of the quotes I learned there that resonates with me is one by Paulo Coelho, “And, when you want something all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”   Today, I wrote a full page document on the specifics of the new vision for my life and I have declared that vision to the universe.   I know I have work to do.  I know the work will be challenging.   I know there will be some “letting go”.    And, because of this weekend, I know that now I am ready.

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QUESTION(S):

Do you want a new limitless vision for your life?

He’s JUST a Man

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_DSC1998-EditRecently, I was asked for advice from a beautiful twenty-something young woman who is helping me to rediscover fitness in my life.    She needed some dating advice and I was flattered that she thought I could offer some helpful information to her.  After all, it has been awhile since I was twenty-something.

This young woman had recently reconnected with a male friend that she had worked with in the past.   He surprised her by confessing his feelings were more than friendship and asked if she would come and visit him as he lived in another city.   She was excited but apprehensive about this and asked my thoughts.

The first thing I did was to ask her about her feelings regarding his revelation and requests.   Her answers were very mature for her age.   She explained that she liked this young man and wanted to get to know him better “in a more-than-a-friendship way”.   However, she was concerned about going to his city and wanted to take things slow.  She wondered how to convey this to him.

I told her to tell him to come to her city (her “turf”)  for a visit and to tell him her boundaries.   She was amazed at my advice.   She asked, “Are you sure I can tell him my boundaries?   Is that okay?”    I laughed and told her it is perfectly fine for her to tell him her boundaries.   I asked her why she thought it would not be okay.   Her reply was, “Because he’s a man!”    I laughed and told her, “Yes, that’s right – he’s JUST a man”.     Her eyes lit up and she smiled.   I knew she understood.

It is important for young women (and some old ones, too) to understand that it is okay to have standards and boundaries for your relational life.    There was a time that women were considered “the prize” and she set the tone of the relationship.   Somehow that has gotten turned around and some of us are living a chameleon life.  We give a lot of energy trying to be a pleaser because we don’t want to be alone. Don’t lower your standards.   When you start contemplating them remind yourself….. “He’s JUST a man”.

QUESTION(S): What do you think about having dating standards?

 

NaBloPoMo #2 – How Do I Wish I Ate?

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The purpose of food is to nourish our bodies so that we can live and be healthy.    I believe that nourishment is an individual pursuit and we should not get distracted in the feeding patterns of others that have a certain desired physical appearance.   It is important for me to discover and maintain the eating pattern that provides a healthy lifestyle for me.

As I mentioned in the previous post, my daily eating routine is a 3-meals-with-a-snack pattern.    I have tried eating smaller meals 5 – 6 times a day but this did not work for me.    For some reason, when I eat more frequently I am hungry all day long.   My ideal eating pattern is 3 meals a day with the largest meal in the middle of the day and no afternoon snack.    I am weaning away that afternoon snack and actually did not have one today.

I also believe that “where” we eat is important to a healthy lifestyle.   In my childhood, it was required that the family sit down at the dinner table together for meals.  There was no eating on the run or in front of the television.   It seems food is more enjoyable and a person is more cognizant of what/how much they are eating when in this type of setting.   So, my ideal eating pattern is to experience each meal in the manner of my childhood.

NaBloPoMo #1 – Nourish – How Do I Eat My Daily Meals?

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Food is my nemesis.   It is difficult to live with it and impossible to live without it.  Living in Houston where there are great restaurants around every corner makes it very difficult to prepare food at home and then there are those Texas-sized portions.    You can feed 2 ½ persons from 1 restaurant entrée in Texas.   Recently, a colleague was here from Budapest for a month on expense account and he told me even though he was working out every day at the hotel he still gained 6 kilos! (I still need to convert that to pounds in my mind.)

How do I eat my daily meals?   Normally, I eat three meals a day with an afternoon snack – during that 3pm lull.   I sit down to eat lunch, dinner, and breakfast on the weekend but breakfast during the work week is eaten in the car driving to work or in the office while checking email.    I know this is a bad habit but it seems so hard to break because I am always crunched for time in the work week mornings.   Writing this blog post has helped me to see that I really need to make this change.

The Hubby Track

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1038415_HiResAs I mentioned in a previous post, I am always eavesdropping in public places.   As a writer, this is one of the methods we study dialogue so that the characters in our stories are unique in their speech.   So, you can only imagine some of the interesting unlikely conversations that I overhear.

One Monday morning at my “day job”, I overheard a conversation between two men about their weekend activities.   I love listening to discussions between men because, as a female writing about relationships, it is difficult to write from the male point of view.   It is even better when they think no one is listening like on this day when there was a cubicle wall between them and me.

One of the guys had the normal “guy” weekend and there was nothing noteworthy for me.   However, the other guy’s weekend was very interesting and humorous.    He mentioned that he had gone out on a first date with someone he met at the home of another friend.    He said that the date was going okay until the young woman started asking him all types of questions.   When asked what type of questions by his workmate, he replied, “Well, it felt like I was on a job interview.”   Now, this guy was from London, so just imagine hearing the exasperation in that statement with his accent.   I burst out laughing.  I could not help it.

Of course, they heard me and stopped talking.   I stood up and apologized explaining that I could not help but overhear the conversation.   I told him his date was ensuring that he was not a waste of her time.   He was puzzled so I told him a few things that cleared it up for him.  He was amazed that I guessed his date was established in her career and nearing the age of 30.   I explained to Mr. London that his date was on the “hubby track”.

The pressure “to marry” for some women can sometimes become a toxic situation.   This pressure can come from family, friends and definitely from the fact that there are more females in the population than males.   Therefore, some women are destined to remain single.  There are some women who do not want to be counted in that number and Mr. London’s date was one of those women.   Also, the horrible truth is that some women judge other women not by their individual successes, not by their contribution to society but by the fact of their marital status.   This is the ultimate pressure – how you are viewed by your peers.

In my own family, I have a relative who had a different fiancée at every family gathering attended to the point I was getting them mixed-up!   It was as if she had a wedding photo ready with a silhouette for a husband and any man available could replace that silhouette.   Needless to say, I was worried for her and I am still worried for her.   She has now been married multiple times and even now is unhappy in her current marriage.  I want to tell her it is okay to be single and that is okay just to get off the “hubby track”.

Now, I am a woman who believes in love and marriage.   I also believe that a woman should take the necessary time to look for the signs of a keeper (as stated in my earlier post of the same name) during the course of interacting with a prospective mate.  In time, you will know if he is the one for YOU.  However, if you are “hubby job interviewing” dates and/or mentally marrying every man you date, you need to take a break from the “hubby track” and investigate your chief motivating force.   It is my belief that you will find you are acting out of some fear – which is the wrong reason to be on the “hubby track”.

QUESTIONS:

Do you think that some women judge other women by their marital status?

Have you ever known someone that could have possibly been on the “hubby track”?  If so, can you share their outcome?